Friday, August 22, 2008

"Who's Houses?" - "McCaiiiiiin's Hooouses!!!!"

Ladies and Gentlemen, Barack Obama is no John Kerry..

Rachel Maddow gets her own show

The great thing about the Olympics being on NBC, especially for a news junkie such as myself, is that MSNBC has put two absolutely hideous shows on a brief hiatus: "Morning Joe" with that smug smear artist with a truly punchable face, Joe Scarborough, and "Race for the White House with David Gregory" - another "show" that makes your average Obama supporter want to climb some random clock tower and pick off innocents one by one. To be completely honest, the only thing worth watching on that god forsaken channel is "Countdown with Keith Olbermann", and Rachel Maddow whenever she's a guest on a MSNBC show bitch-slapping the likes of Pat Buchanan or the aforementioned douchebag Joe Scarborough. Well, MSNBC just gave Rachel Maddow her show starting September 8th, a smart move on their part. Check out the clip above, where she completely eviscerates Pat "Black people benefited from slavery" Buchanan over the "presumptuous" charge that obviously drips with racism.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Falling for the Okey-Doke at Saddleback is a lesson for Obama(Vibe)

Whenever I find myself daydreaming about the prospect of procreating, as if there is actually a woman in existence with a constitution strong enough to receive my demon-seed, I rarely think about how raising a child nowadays is such a herculean task. Even though I'm so selfish I've resorted to building a "glory hole" in my house for sexual encounters, I welcome any free time being eliminated from my already busy social calender - I mean, cutting down on reckless binge drinking and my penchant for penetrating strange women in the backseat of my muscle car will at least add a few days to my life. I'm not even worried about how I will pay for my child's college education, mostly because I'm a firm believer that things will naturally work themselves out. But if I do find myself seriously strapped for cash around the same time that my crumb snatcher reaches his/her senior year of High School, I'll gladly be willing to offer up my body for cash to lonely widows and other low self-esteem having women who haven't seen an erect penis since the final episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" aired. The only thing that worries me about the prospect of raising a child, is whether or not I possess the god-given ability to effectively tell well intentioned lies for the good of my child. I mean, will the memories of me smoking joints with my junior high buddies and dropping acid that had me tripping for two straight days straight haunt my every thought as I tell my child to stay clear of street grade pharmaceuticals? I can bullshit with the best of them, but belting out passionate safe sex pleas to my offspring just seems to be wrong in a karma sense - especially considering instances where I washed my personal business in some strange woman's sink, or the time I had unsafe relations with a stripper whose vagina resembled a catchers mitt. But being that I've historically opted to land a well placed chop to the throat over garden variety diplomacy, my toughest task of all is going to be trying to sell my son or daughter on the concept of civil disobedience. Even though I want them to be able to defend themselves, its going to be difficult for me to navigate the turbulent waters of what is standard self defense and what's just gratuitous violence. Throat-chopping? Sure. Rendering someone unconscious via choke-holds? Case-by-case basis. The "smash a bottle over some bastards head just because he doesn't like rakim" technique? Not so much. Effective knee strikes? Most definitely. Turning innocent household items into lethal weapons? Shit no.

But the one lesson that I will have no trouble relaying to my child, knowing that someday they he or she will encounter a person who doesn't know what civil disobedience is and acts as if turning the other cheek is just an invitation to be hit on the other one - is to never fight in someone else's backyard. Take it from someone who knows, besides having to defend myself against easily attainable kitchen cutlery and spatula-wielding mothers who aren't trying to see their baby boy catch one hell of an ass-whipping, you have to deal someones homeboys whose main agenda is making sure that the ridges on the bottom of their Timberland boot are permanently tattooed on the back of your ass. Apparently, Barack Obama was never exposed to this utterly important piece of sage-like advice.

Last week, when I first found out that Barack Obama would be appearing with John McCain at Pastor Rick Warren's "Faith Forum" at Saddleback Church, I immediately thought that this would be a home-run for Obama. Outside of the fact that Obama and Warren were friendly,(the possibly of him being pelted with asinine Reverend Wright questions being slim to none) and unlike Democrats of years past, Obama just seems comfortable talking about faith and often incorporates bible scriptures in his stump speech. On the other hand, McCain seems as comfortable talking about his faith as Pat Buchanan would sound hosting a "Rock the Bells" concert - this very contrast is the main reason why I thought that Obama could win over some of those evangelical fence-sitters whose world view and political ideology isn't completely grounded in Roe v Wade. Anyway, they flipped a coin and Obama went first, Rick Warren swearing that John McCain was in a "cone of silence" so he couldn't hear the exact same questions that he was asking Barack Obama.(It turns out that McCain wasn't in a "cone of silence") Initially I thought that Obama was doing quite well, answering questions about what his greatest moral failure was and if he thought evil existed with a thoughtfulness that I figured America would want in a president. I didn't particularly mind it when Warren would occasionally give Obama the "hurry up" signal, echoing his earlier sentiment that he didn't want either candidate to start reciting their respective stump speeches. Then it was John McCain's turn.

Not only didn't McCain answer any of the questions specifically, he turned each question into an opportunity to both go on bluster-filled foreign policy rants that mirrored his stump speeches but he also recited heartfelt POW stories that didn't have a fucking thing to do with the question being asked. A tactic that the evangelical crowd in attendance absolutely at up. Obviously Mr. Warren didn't take it upon himself to give the Senior Senator from Arizona that same "wrap it up" signal that he gave to Barack. Obama was set up, caught slipping because he decided to challenge someone to a fight in their own backyard - and because I was wrong in my initial assessment, I'm still sporting some Timberland ridge on the back of my ass as well.

Now, while I do think that Obama's performance at Saddleback eased the concerns of many good natured americans who quietly wondered whether that email that they once received depicting him as a crypto-Muslim who wants to snack on white babies was true or not - that night also taught Obama an invaluable lesson. He can't out-Vietnam John McCain, if he wants to tell touching tales about his POW experience, he needs to tell his own story because that's what people are attracted to. How seeing his dear mother wither away from the effects of Ovarian cancer is what inspires him to see that every American receives the proper health care that they deserve. How the pain of not growing up with a father pushes him every day to make sure that single mothers have the tools they need to raise their children. Shit like that. I think he also realized that he can't get suckered into trying to disprove the "empty suit" narrative being pushed by the McCain camp, soaring rhetoric and impeccable oratory works and his republican rival is deathly afraid of that - in the age of the soundbite and the low information voter, be less Nas and more Jay-Z. Dumb it down, leave the specifics to Townhalls and proper debates.

Monday, August 18, 2008


Classic David Shuster

Someone give this guy his own show already. This is a clip of David Shuster completely eviscerating two PUMA hacks, you know the Hillary Dead-enders who still refuse to support Obama because of some phantom plot by the DNC to steal the nomination away from Hillary. Anyway, the clumsy performance by Darragh Murphy and Will Bower proves what I've been saying all along - that these miserable knuckle-draggers are either closet racists, or worse, Republicans.

Monday, August 11, 2008

2 Hip Hop Snobs Tackle.... "Posse Cuts"(Day 4)(Vibe)

Check out the first three installments:

DanTres: It's dope to find folks repping for their regions. This track put the south on the map. Ever since then, the south has been known as the Dirty South. As usual, any track with Outkast and Goodie M.O.B. Always presented quality. This one definitely opened doors and does get the floor jumping when you play it down south. A lot of folks have balked when I brought this track up during "a best of..." debate. I think it's influence has been highly underrated.

HumanityCritic: Ok, you got me, I was indeed one of the aforementioned "balkers", this track is dope but it was never was one of my personal favorites. That being said, there is always a point when an artist(or a group of artists in this case) rip off the proverbial scab and gives their listeners an unadulterated look at the geographic area that they call home, a sobering reality of sorts. The same way MC's out of "The Golden State" have been forcefully making the case for years that there is more to California than just "swimming pools and movie stars", this collaboration proved that there is more to the South than just down home cooking and the shameful history of Jim Crow.

DanTres: When Outkast first came up, I was always checking Dre. On Dirty South however, I peeped that Big Boi was nice. Ever since then, I felt he was the better of the two. He is very underrated. One of the few cats out there who can change the sounding of certain syllables to rhyme and get away with it (I think Black Thought is the only other cat that can do it properly). What I dig about this posse cut is that they could have put everybody on that and it might not have come out the same. It was nice and short. Straight to the point. The south is dirty, don't get it twisted.

HumanityCritic: Word, Big Boi is both dope and underrated. Speaking of Big Boi, excuse me for getting off topic here, but I'm glad that him and Killer Mike finally decided to squash their beef. I'll take Big Boi over Killer Mike lyrically any day, but after witnessing the back and forth between the two men, I just felt that his new "tough guy" stance was laughably unbelievable. He's better than that. But then again who am I to talk, I once sucker punched a preacher for telling his all black congregation to vote for Bush in 2004 and put the father of a girl I was dating in an inappropriate sleeper hold.

DanTres: Although the Hit Squad wasn't the first group of artists to put it down, they came off hard. I remember I was out to sea when this joint came on. This cat fresh out of boot camp came on board and during one of our sessions, he brought the single. After it was over, we were like "whaaaaaattttttttttt.....!" We must have played it over twenty times. Looking back though, it was a gay moment, since here were like 40 heads in wife beaters jumping around doing the East Coast stomp in an enclosed space.

HumanityCritic: Like any Hip Hop enthusiast, I'm fully aware of the pitfalls surrounding some overzealous person accidentally reinforcing negative stereotypes about the genre within the proverbial earshot of critical malcontents. That being said, this posse cut makes me want to punch a motherfucker in the face, and that's a good thing. Like so many other posse cuts where there is at least one squeaky wheel, a proverbial weak link of sorts - everyone here holds their weight like human drug mules. This is one of my favorite posse cuts of all time, the gold standard which all other collaborative efforts over a dope beat should be judged.

DanTres: The sad part is that shortly after this track, the collective got into a beef and everything fell apart. The only cat really holding it down on any level is Redman. Everyone else just hasn't been the same. Still, I find this track to be a watershed in that moment when hip hop music was about Carharts, timbs, and hoodies. No glamor, no glitz, no wack white shades, bottles of Mo', or "swagger." Heads just got on a dope track and wrote dope rhymes.

HumanityCritic: This song has also provided me with countless hours of laughter due to my utterly warped sense of humor. I can't tell you how many times I've forcefully yanked the back of some stranger's sweatshirt and yelled "Yo Where's my Hoodie!!??", simply screamed the word "Negroes!" whenever I found myself at a concert where two black males were fighting, been in a club and expressed my displeasure at a young lady's meddling friend by very politely asking her to "tow truck her weak sideshow" - and about a million other inside jokes that I've been gleefully regurgitating since this song came out. But seriously, how fucking great is Redman's verse in this song? it perfectly captures my belief that Redman's style is rather "Seinfeldian", an utterly brilliant display of lyricism that isn't about anything in particular. Straight dope.

Here is another example of Redman's "Seinfeldian" brilliance:
Redman: "Tonight's da Night"(Remix)

Jay Smooth - "Obama's Ludacris Issue"

Jay Smooth pretty much nails it.. I expressed similar sentiments here, but undoubtedly my blog brethren broke it down a lot better than I did.