Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Pat, you old bastard..

I love my hometown of Virginia beach unconditionally, like an alcoholic uncle who always hits on your girlfriends and ends up shitting in your pool, despite all it's fault I love where I'm from. Granted, my city was negatively immortalized in the Public Enemy song "Welcome to the Terrordome", even though I respect Missy and Pharrell, when people equate them to my residence I wish VA had more distinguished representatives, but all of those things I can live with. But when people find out where I'm from and say, "Pat Robertson, 700 club right?" I feel a disgust only parallelled by the way I felt when a beautiful woman I was dating once said that "Lil Wayne" was her "favorite rapper".

Since CBN is only a stones throw away from my house, and I have a sick sense of humor, since I was a kid I always had the idea of taking a serious dump on his front lawn in an act of protest. I have really thought about pulling this life long feat off as of late, but I heard that there are armed guards securing that place like the White House, and I would hate to die with my pants around my ankles pulling off a childish act of defiance.

Anyway, recently Robertson painted Islam with a broad brush by saying "the goal of Islam, ladies and gentlemen, whether you like it or not, is world domination." He then characterized the religion as "satanic". Of course later he retracted his statements, like he always does when he talks out of his ass, but hopefully this senile loon can learn to shut his fucking mouth and not need a "retraction". I don't know, each time he says something stupid I get the urge to "drop the kids off" on his well manicure lawn. Lets just hope you don't read a "Pat Robertson's peeps shot me in the ass" blog post from me soon after.

6 comments:

Ironman said...

If there's one thing I can't stand is ignorant old men who have the right to speak willingly on anything. Sure freedom of speech, but that's just ridiculous and is tarnishing his "character" with comments like that.

Go on brotha, take a dump on his yard, what's the worst that could happen?

Dynamite Soul said...

"Anyway, recently Robertson painted Islam with a broad brush by saying 'the goal of Islam, ladies and gentlemen, whether you like it or not, is world domination.'"


OH BLEASE BLEASE! HE WAS RIGHT MY FRIEND!

*cackles and rubs hands together*
Just kidding.

Don't worry about Pat. I've heard 7 year olds demonstrate more intellectual and theological prowess than him and his club members.

koréboy said...

I have to agree. It's sad and a shame that this man claims to be a rep of the Christian faith when what he really represents is the white, Neo-conservative (or maybe not so neo) American imperialism ideology that arrogantly believes it is the standard for the rest of the world to look up to.

Jenevieve said...

"I love my hometown of Virginia beach unconditionally, like an alcoholic uncle who always hits on your girlfriends and ends up shitting in your pool..."

Best blog opener ever! Hahahahaha!

Nova said...

(sighs) I really hate it that dumb-fucks like Pat can say pretty much whatever the hell they want. And the SAD thing is that there's people out there who hang on that fuckup's every word.

Otis said...

Let me know when and I'll go as well...

It will give new meaning to fertilizing the lawn.