HumanityCritic's DJ Premier Barbecue Playlist

If I'm reminded of one thing on this holiday weekend, it's how my selfishness and fundamental laziness prohibits me from standing by my principles. I fully embrace all the anti-Christmas arguments concerning the historical inaccuracy of it, the rampant commercialism, how billions of people have their hard earned dough embezzled by greedy monuments of consumerism - making the holiday that falls on the 25th of December as impersonal as your local glory hole. Knowing all that, I disregard reasonably well thought out arguments for my unwavering love of receiving free shit. Its the same thing with the 4th of July. Sure, I'm a proud American, but my friends who claim that there is nothing to celebrate based on the historical mistreatment of the black man have a valid point. They really do. Sadly, the aforementioned beliefs will never weaken my love of eating shit-loads of barbecue at impromptu social gatherings - holiday celebrations of this sort that usually lead to me penetrating some low self esteem having out-of-towner who falls for my "self loathing, chubby guy" shtick. I'm sure the mere of sight of me makes true revolutionaries the world over vomit inside of their collective mouths a little bit.

Anyway, while many of you are at someones barbecue, trying to figure out if its a sane decision to eat the food of someone whose laissez faire approach to hygiene has flies circling their person like "Pigpen" from the Charlie Brown cartoons.. Feeling perplexed at how many food dishes are left uncovered.. Grossed the fuck out, taking a mental count of all the grubby, miscellaneous hands that have touched any given food in a ten minute time span.. The stripper who you refused to fuck solely because she was the owner of a nefarious southward smell, well, she's the one who brought the potato salad.(If she neglects her vagina, just imagine the state of affairs her potato salad must be in)

So, if you find yourself in any of those situations, I have the perfect remedy my friend - "HumanityCritic's DJ Premier Barbecue Playlist" - there is nothing like your germaphobia and overall paranoia having its own booming soundtrack. Enjoy.. Be safe out there

HumanityCritic's DJ Premier Barbecue Playlist
(All tracks produced by DJ Premier of course)

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Tracklist:
1: KRS-ONE - "Krs-one Attacks"(Intro)
2: Gangstarr - "All 4 The Cash"
3: Macy Gray feat Guru & Mos Def - "I've Committed Murder"
4: Rah Digga - "Lessons Of Today"
5: Nas - "New York State of Mind"
6: The Lox - "Recognize"
7: Buckshot Lefonque - "Breakfast @ Dennys"
8: D'angelo feat AZ - "Lady"
9: Gangstarr feat Nice & Smooth - "Dwyck"
10: Royce da 5'9 - "Boom"
11: KRS-One - "MC's Act Like They Don't Know"
12: Jeru the Damaja - "Come Clean"
13: Gangstarr - "Just To Get a Rep"
14: Jay-Z - "D'Evils"
15: Gangstarr feat M.O.P - "Half & Half"
16: Gangstarr - "BYS"
17: Nas - "Memory Lane"
18: Rakim - "When I Be On The Mic"
19: Gangstarr - "Code of the Streets"
20: Notorious B.I.G - "Unbelievable"
21: Mos Def - "Mathematics"
22: D'angelo - "Devils Pie"
23: Nas - "Nas Is Like"
24: Showbiz and AG - "Next Level"
25: Notorious B.I.G - "Ten Crack Commandments"
26: Bahamadia - "True Honey Buns"
27: Gangstarr - "Check the Technique"
28: Royce da 5'9 - "Hip Hop"
29: M.O.P - "Downtown Swinga 95'"
30: Crooklyn Dodgers '95 - "Return of the Crooklyn Dodgers"
31: KRS-One - "Outta Here"
32: Jay-Z - "So Ghetto"
33: Janet Jackson - "Together Again"
34: Nas - "2nd Childhood"
35: Notorious B.I.G - "Kick in the Door"
36: Bahamadia - "3 Tha Hard Way"
37: Craig David feat Mos Def - "7 Days"
38: Gangstarr - "Full Clip"
39: Torae feat Skyzoo - "Click"
40: Pitch Black - "Its all Real"
41: Cee-Lo Green - "Evening News"
42: Christina Aguilera - "Thank You"(Outro)

Its been a long time..

I know, I know.. I've neglected this site for so long that all of my loyal reader have all but disappeared, the only steady stream of traffic my site sees nowadays comes from miscellaneous deviants who happen to google words like "throat yogurt" and "complimentary reach around". But I'm back, and I would say "with a vengeance" but as someone who has historically underachieved mid-coitus - I'd hate to proverbial "shoot my waad" and fail to deliver the proverbial "money shot".(Sorry) Why the layoff? I guess I didn't really have anything intensely personal to say. Besides, after 4 straight years of emotional vomiting concerning my father issues, and waxing poetic about every story surrounding my black myth ruining, unimpressive penis - I sort of thought that this blog had run its course. Boy was I wrong.

D-Nice's True Hip-Hop Stories: Special Ed

True Hip-Hop Stories: Special Ed from D-Nice on Vimeo.

Anatomy of a Smear

(Hat-tip Bob Cesca)

Not for nothing, but this is the video you show all those convenient hand-wringers who openly wonder why President Obama has been on a media blitz as of late. Doing "60 Minutes". Answering questions for that Online Townhall yesterday. Doing Jay Leno last week. Sure, our Commander-in-Chief should be out there explaining to as many people as humanly possible what his specific plans are. But the real reason for the media tour, I believe, is that Barack Obama knows that our media is traditionally lazy as fuck and commonly susceptible to right wings meems. Outside of David Shuster, Keith Olbermann, and Rachel Maddow - you'd be hard pressed to find any news person who actually pushed back on the fictitious republican claims of what was in the Stimulus package. More times than not I witnessed respected journalists simply regurgitate that small business falsehood as if it was gospel. Because of that, I implore our President to do even more media. Momentarily revive "Rap City", so he can tell people more about his Afghanistan strategy between his favorite Run D.M.C and Public Enemy videos. I wan him to go on "Flava of Love", round up everyone on the cast and sternly say to the American people "THIS is why my budget focuses on education!" Anything to counterbalance the smears.

The Obama Roots Remix(Late Night with Jimmy Fallon)

Being that I kept hoping that Black Thought would lay down a verse to that beat, the Roots should really turn that joint into a song.

David Letterman smacks Obama's critics - Teleprompter vs. No Teleprompter

One of the silliest critiques of the President that I've witnessed so far has been the suggestion that the man can't finish complete sentences without a teleprompter near by - a intentionally hyperbolic claim I know, but the thousands of interviews and debate performances just don't bare that shit out. It's also a curious claim based on who our last president was, a man who sounded like Barney Fife on Mescaline on his best day. Talk about amateur hour, the President's detractors simply have to do better.

Apparently our President is a Bruce Lee fan

Bruce Lee: "Just keep calm. No illusion and no imagination, but to apprehend the actual situation you are in and find a way to deal with it. No excessive action is needed. Just keep your body and mind relaxed to deal with the outside emergency."

As a person who has been in his fair share of bar brawls, I feel like I'm uniquely suited to pass down some jewels of wisdom in terms of the time honored tradition of alcoholic fisticuffs. First off, whenever you encounter some angry group of men upset at you for tongue kissing one of their girlfriends, or unplugging the jukebox because they choose to play some some monosyllabic rapper that disagrees with my virgin ears - be sure to target the mouthpiece of said irate mob. Sure, the mouthiest one of the bunch is usually the one with the flimsiest jaw and weakest resolve - but I couldn't tell you how many times chin-checking the thug spokesmen virtually paralyzes everyone else. Be economical: I don't care if you fight someone in a bar that you've been going to for years, if everyone in attendance shouts your name out when you walk through the door as if you were "Norm" from "Cheers" and shit - you never know where the friend of the person you are fighting lurks. So keep fights quick, throat-chops, clotheslines, knee strikes, there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting your WWE on and hitting a motherfucker with a chair. Besides, I'm a chubby alcoholic, I get easily winded. Lastly, when taking on one or more thugs at a time, you will be best served to do so calmly.

That was Bruce Lee's philosophy. As difficult as it may sound, putting your anger aside while trying to dispatch someone intent on putting you on the business end of a beating, the inventor of Jeet Kune Do had it exactly right. You think clearly, see punches coming from a mile a way, you don't make the same strategical mistakes born out of anger - and you conserve the much needed energy usually sapped by emotion. Granted, I'm sure that Bruce Lee didn't have drunken bar brawls in mind when passing along said wisdom, but I digress.

I've been thinking a lot about Bruce Lee ever since President Obama's appearance on "60 Minutes" a couple of days ago. There have been many criticisms of our newly elected President, from writers who have dangled their credibility over a ledge by assessing Obama's first term after 60 fucking days in office to the usual partisan drivel coming from the outdated mandibles of your garden variety conservative - but Obama's "laugh heard around the world" on "60 Minutes" has apparently offended the delicate sensibilities of those on the left and on the right. Douchebaggery is clearly bi-partisan. Hackery knows no political affiliation. Jesus Christ, one day Obama's message on the economy is "too dire, not upbeat enough" - the next day he is "too happy", "needs to strike a somber tone about our country's economic situation". It seems that President Obama can't take a fundamental bowel movement without scores of people ringing their collective hands about it.

Watching the interview, especially after he said "we can't govern out of anger", it became crystal clear that President Obama has decided to use Bruce Lee's lessons for good and not evil.(Like me) With an economic crisis to deal with, the public outrage over AIG bonuses, two wars, health care and education to deal with, the clusterfuck going on in Mexico - those problems have to be dealt effectively by having the clearest mind possible. The same way a calm demeanor allowed me to duck a pool stick swung by the girlfriend of a guy that I had just body slammed, or the extremely lazy uppercut thrown by an old man upset that I had just very cavalierly broke his walking cane in half for questioning Barack Obama's citizenship - Obama's calm demeanor proves to a bar brawling asshole like myself that he has the clarity to make the right decisions. Mainstream media hackery sees his laughter as a hellworthy trespass, I see it as a President putting Master Lee's lessons to good use.